KMart Seeks Revival: Replaces Martha with Rick Warren

“Fast on the heels of their impending merger with Sears, Kmart stunned the retail industry this week by announcing their plans to dump their longtime association with Martha Stewart and replace her with Rick Warren, best-selling Christian author of The Purpose-Driven Life.”

What?

“Featured products in the collection will include a line of men’s Hawaiian shirts with matching khaki pants and loafers, personally designed by Warren for the leisurely, suburban churchgoer. Also among the Warren-designed items: Hawaiian print bathroom towels, Hawaiian print kitchen decanters, and a Message Bible that features a fold-out Krispy Kreme donut tray and coffee cup holder.”

“Nonetheless, some analysts have questioned whether this move will disenfranchise some of Kmart’s loyal customers who may not relate to evangelical Christianity. Lambert, however, shrugged it off. ‘Certainly the initial concern was that it might alienate consumers of other religious faiths. But once we realized that the purpose-driven philosophy didn’t rely on the Christian view of God, we were tickled to death.’”

The Purpose-Driven philosophy doesn't rely on the Christian view of God. That's a very interesting statement. What next?  For those who are interested you may read the entire article at Monday Morning Insight.

Surely this must be satire?

Hey, will they have Purpose-driven toilet paper?